The Sad Tales of Wario and Garlic
by LegendOfZeldaFreak
Summary: *For DaZeLinker's Best Friend contest* Wario loves eating garlic. Everyone in the Smash Mansion knew it. But when Wario sees Peach cutting up a piece of garlic for some food, he feels betrayed that the garlic would let someone else eat it. Will Wario ever eat garlic again?
1. The Split

_Prologue_

There were only three rules in the Smash Mansion that you followed no matter the circumstance.

The first one was rather simple, mostly because everyone agreed on it. The rule was simply not to give Crazy Hand any, no matter the proportion, sugar. The rule was established after a rather scary event concerning Crazy Hand (obviously), every one of the Smashers, and said Smashers favorite sweets. Let's just say that if Master Hand hadn't stepped in, Crazy Hand would've been shot, stabbed, kicked, punched, bombed, baseball bat-ed, frying pan-ed, Din Fire-d, and bitten all at the same time.

The second one wasn't exactly favored among some of the Smashers (mostly the so-called "villains"). It was strictly no physical fighting outside brawls. They couldn't stop verbal fights (Peach did stir up quite a bit of drama out of no where, after all), but if you even so much as draw blood, you'll be put on cleaning duty. Times depend on how large the injury was and/or if it was an accident or not.

The third one was followed 99.9% of the time (even though it wasn't really official), simply out of fear (for most). It was simple: don't mess with the garlic. That was Wario's, and anyone who touched it was _dead meat._

Pretty simple, correct? So you would think. And here goes the story where all three get broken...

* * *

It was a rather fun and exciting day in the Smash Mansion. That week was the "Half-Way Celebration". The Half-Way Celebration is, well, a celebration that is thrown in honor of the half-way mark for when the Smashers would have to go back to their respectful lands and places. It was filled to the brim with brawls, fun activities such as sports, and, of course, the food eating contest.

The winner, determined by how many "points" you get, get's to "rule" the Smash Mansion, for lack of a better term, for two weeks. During that time, they can change ANY rules, do whatever they want, and choose all the brawls. However, after their reign is over, the rules are reset. Normally the ruler is hated for their unfair rule during the two weeks for a short period of time.

First event is the brawls. They fought tourney-style, two people facing off at a time. Every victory would give you ten points. However, the lone victor would get fifty points added on to their old score.

Second is the great sports events. They would all face off in volleyball, split into eight teams (the Melee rejects were able to come for this week and join in). The four winning teams would then face off in two teams of baseball, and then the two remaining teams would play bowling. Each player in the winning team would get 35 points.

Third was the food-eating-contest. Usually the foods weren't normal but bizarre creatures from the different lands (Such as leevers from Hyrule). The person that ate their foods the fastest and ended up winning would get 55 points.

Finally, the last event was just for people who wanted to get extra points. The whole thing is just a bunch of childish games- such as Simon Says, Duck Duck Goose, that sort of things.

The results would be tallied up. Whoever won would get dumped in cold and gross slime before they would all go and eat (after said victor showered/bathed, of course).

However, not all of the Smashers participated in this event (except maybe the sports to even out the teams). One was Peach. Instead, the whole time it was going on, she would be in the kitchens cooking for the food-eating contest. It usually went off with a bang, and usually the only reason the contestants could eat the foods was because of her excellent cooking, but our story was slightly different.

It starts in the short five minute break between the first group of tourney players and the second group.

"Oh no," Peach mumbled to herself, pacing before the counter. "I can't believe we're out of garlic! I won't be able to prepare the Goomba for the contest..."

Just then, her eyes wandered over to a hidden tin of something over in the corner of the counter. Praying and hoping, she reached over and pulled the top off. "Thank goodness!" she said smiling. "Now I shall just..."

Suddenly, as if just realizing, she remembered that this food belonged to one of the Smashers. She pondered for a bit before coming to the conclusion that she would be able to replace the food before Wario came in for a snack. And if he did, Peach would just hit him over the head with her beloved frying pan and make him forget he even wanted the rather disgusting food.

As she was slicing the food up, the door slammed open rather rudely. A short fat little man waddled over to the counter, farting as he did so. Apparently, Wario had one his fight and was looking for a snack before he started fighting again.

After peeling off the container's lid, he was shocked (and _really_ angry) to find that his beloved snack- his _friend_- was gone. Gone! Wario threw the container at the wall. "Garlic!" he yelled and picked his nose. "Where are ya'? Come 'ere! I wanna' snack!" And with that, he started running aimlessly through the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Peach was trying to hide the food behind her. Finally, as if just noticing she was there, Wario looked at her. "'O you know 'ere my garlic is?" With no reply, he continued, "I knew it! My precious snack let you's use it in that meal! Unbelievable!"

He stomped over (which looked rather funny considering how he walked) and glared at the said food. "I hate you! 'Ind someone else to 'aithfully eat ya'!"

And with that, he walked out the door leaving a rather worried and confused Peach.

* * *

**A.N.: I HATE WRITER'S BLOCK. Just thought I'd get that out there.**

**By the way, please check out my contest. It's at the beginning of my profile. If at least one person joins, we can still leave it up. Otherwise the prizes won't work. AND NO ONE WANTS THAT. D:**

**Second, please read my other story TitlePending. It should be right underneath this one in my handy-dandy story thingy-ma-jiger. I'm kind of hesitant on finishing it because it would be pretty long, but if someone likes it I will finish it. THANK YOU.**

**I'm done advertising, sorry about that...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Brothers, garlic, volleyball, baseball, Simon Says, bowling, Duck Duck Goose, or sugar. UNFORTUNATELY.**

**BTW, if you're wondering why I chose to do something as odd as Wario and garlic, it's because I have an odd brain and odd brains tend to come up with odd things. Actually, I really don't know. SO THERE.**


	2. The (Short) Brawl

_One..._

A rather fat man sped onto the pirate ship-based stage on a motorcycle, smiling devilishly the whole time. Finally, once he reached the ground, he jumped off and the 'bike mysteriously disappeared.

_Two..._

A second person appeared, except this one appeared in an explosion. Once the toonish fog cleared, he sheathed and then for some odd reason unsheathed it just as quickly, jumping up and down on both feet.

_Three..._

Both people looked at each other- one glaring, one smiling- until a loud voice boomed:

_**GO!**_

Both people rushed at each other. The smaller one reached the other one quicker and swung his sword in a large arc, causing the fatter one to tumble a bit backwards. Before he could recover, the tinnier one rushed at him again- this time throwing a bomb at him. While he was still in the air, the toonish boy shot three arrows rapidly at him, causing him to fly off to the side- destroying one of his precious two lives.

Growling, the man jumped off the platform that brought him back to the stage. Looking around, he spotted the child he was focused on beating on the right side of the wooden ship. He stomped over to the kid and bit down on where he stood.

The kid, however, was too quick for that. He jumped out of the way, landing on a platform above the ship, and swung his sword in random places in a flurry of slashed, yelling wordlessly all the while.

The taunt was to be his doom. The fat man jumped up and stomped on him. Before the kid had any chance to recover, he bit down hard on him and threw him off the stage in an explosion of red and orange.

Both people, left with one stock each, glared at each other. They both rushed at each other at the same time, sword ready and jaws open. The kid got to his destination first, much like the first round. However, the obese one was ready this time. He bit down on him and threw him across the deck. The kid hit his head so hard that he stood in the same place, rocking back and forth with twirling stars above his head.

The man ran awkwardly to the kid and got ready to use his sacred blow: the fart. In position, he let a rather large and nasty one rip. However, it didn't quite work that way.

_Nothing came out._

The kid used the man's confusion to his advantage. Quickly, he swiped his sword at him and, without preparedness, the man flew off the stage.

Back at the Smash Manor, everybody was busy congratulating the kid ("Toon! Toon! Toon!") However, the man (Wario) was busy focusing on something other than his loss. What had happened back there?

Sighing, he looked at where his subconsious feet were taking him. Looking up, he saw the kitchen. He almost walked in, almost got the garlic, but stopped.

_Never again shall I eat garlic!_


	3. You Just Got Rick Rolled

Usually, the dining room in the Smash Mansion was a rather quiet place. It was a rare event indeed when the Smashers ate there: most of the time, they spread out and either ate in their rooms, the "living room", or outside. However, today the dining hall was filled with jovial (mostly) chatter.

Indeed, the Smashers were all seated around the table (which was either liked, disliked, or hated). Many conversations were going on at once, making the place burst with conversation of all sorts. The few who were not talking were busy either glaring at people, sleeping, or eating foods they had stolen from the kitchen. It was what one might call a mad-house.

However, soon people filed into the room, each and every one of them holding a platter of various foods. When the final one stepped through the door, a woman (Peach) walked in behind them.

She clapped her hands together and said, "Dinner is ser-"

Spontaneously, one of the decorations that was dangling from the ceiling exploded . Many pieces of food- they looked to be onions- landed on the Smashers and table, making most of the people jump (and, although most would deny it, shriek) with surprise. The kids, not including Lucas (who was shaking like a leaf) or Nana (who was glaring at her brother), all howled with laughter and kicked their legs out in a fit.

Soon, everyone's feelings were changing from surprise to anger, and several of the people were glaring at the children.

In a matter that would be boring to explain, the children were sent out of the room and put on cleaning duty ("I, the great Toon Link," Toon Link cried, "have to experience maid time?") for the next month. However, they were not banned from the tournament. It only ever happened once every year, remember.

When it was all resolved and the kids at fault were sent on their merry way, the food was finally served and everybody dug in. Everyone... except one person.

Nobody seemed to notice Wario sitting at the table, clutching a fallen onion as if it was a lifeline. His eyes were teared up. He slowly lifted up the onion to his nose and sniffed it. When at last he stuck his tongue out and licked it, he started hysterically crying and hugging the onion, rocking back and forth.

"Oh my sweet precious one!" he yelled, dropping the annoying accent for once. "I've missed you!

"I promise never to forget you, or stop eating you! In fact, I'll eat you right now!" he stopped crying for one moment before jamming the "onion" into his mouth. "I looooove you!"

He did not notice the other Smashers' stares, all glued to him. However, they all turned back when Zelda identified the food as not onions, but garlic. Everyone completely forgot them and continued on their conversation, but if they had looked over, they would have seen something that was so "aw" worthy that a little fluffy kitten would have been jealous (I'm just kitten! Nothing can beat the "aw"-ness of kittens. But that was how cute it was).

Alright, so maybe it wasn't "aw" worthy. Maybe a weird glance, like, "What is wrong with your sanity?". But if you had a mind that could truly see what was going on, it was cute in its own little way.

Ignoring all the other foods, Wario held onto two pieces of garlic- one in each hand- and skipped down the hallway, singing softly, "Never gonna' give you up, never gonna' let you do_oo_wn, never gonna' run around and _desert you_..."

**END**

* * *

**AN: Because the contest ends tomorrow. I rushed through this, to be honest. I blame my procrastinating self. By the way, I made a reference to my story Title Pending (not to be confused with TitlePending!).**


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